Wednesday, May 30, 2018

And it's a wrap.... My Life as an Expat No More

Project Exit Dubai 
(Warning! Lots of blabber and self banter/random reflection below!): 

October 2010 was the time when my parents met me in Serbia with my brother somewhat near the beginning of my 2010/2011 travel sabbatical. Before then I had been to South Africa for the World Cup, traveled around SA after that, then was in Ghana, and headed to Serbia and after that before I continued on to the Arctic Circle (Norway, Greenland and Iceland). 

It was a beautiful day in Belgrade and my brother and I did this nice bike ride around town and the Rivers Danube and Sava while my parents went to a medical conference. We agreed to all meet in the late afternoon. We were already in the apartment when the buzzer rang to let them into the apartment. When I went to open the door, they both stood there in the doorway practically bursting with excitement and they practically shouted, “ Ellen!!! We me met someone at the conference and her husband is a sports medicine doctor and they live in Dubai! Dubai!! This will be great for you!” As random and strange as it was, a weird feeling washed over me that this was my fate and I remember telling myself, "OMG, you are going to move to Dubai!" I knew NOTHING about Dubai, hardly knew where it was on the map, but something about it felt right. I remember how the door was still open and them talking excitedly about this and unlike other times when some off the wall ideas would come, this actually felt “real.” Again, not knowing anything except them meeting this random lady that her and her husband were from Dubai, the door closed, and I said to myself, “this is going to happen.”

That’s how it started. Many many people have asked me over the years how I ended up in Dubai being that everyone is trying to get to America and here I left it, but that’s really how it started. It was a lot of my parents encouragement (which is awesome), I had no job to get back to, was in a super free-spirited state from my worldly travels, and really, Dubai is a great hub and doorway to travel the world. I then got connected to Rada, finished my travel sabbatical in mid-April where I came to visit them. The "plan" was to see if I liked it and see if those connections through her hubby Dejan would come to fruition. Fortunately at that time, Dubai was getting out of a slump and unbeknownst to me, pretty much being American was practically a shoo-in. 

Dejan ended up being a great connection and ended up working at a clinic through his connections. Have to REALLY thank him especially for that as he really helped guide me. Unlike America, most of the options were commission based, and the ONE that was not, was the one I chose because I liked how it had in-house docs and that it was salaried.... I'm a Taurus so practical and sensible, so knowing how much I'm getting every month and having that security was really the main draw, and also the clinic looked good and people seemed nice. I ended up staying with Rada and Dejan for 6 weeks while I took the license tests and did some of the logistics and paperwork to work in the UAE. Really am forever grateful, thankful, and appreciative to them!

Fast forward 6.5 years and my time has come to leave. Can't even say how quickly the time has passed. Why, you ask? I think last year was starting to feel a bit antsy and getting, shall I dare say, bored with the too comfy life I was leading. It’s odd to say that I literally had such a stress free life, that I just started to feel I needed a big o change. I’m all about universal signs and somehow, the signs were pointing to me to leave in 2018. It would be my 7th year since stepping foot in Dubai, 7 is one of my fave numbers, I was planning on running Comrades and felt that would be a good final send off, my Chicago friends wanted to do an international trip to all commemorate our 40th bdays and I needed almost 3 weeks for that and that would pretty much eat up all my hols, and I guess the biggest of them all was that I was turning 40 and... time for a change! Being that I lost track of how many Dubai marathons and RAK half marathons I have done and even the running scene was getting like rinse, recycle, repeat, as much as I looooove it, again, felt I needed to move on and it was time for a change. Also, a la George Constanza on Seinfeld (American humor anyone?), I wanted to leave on a high note. During my years in Dubai, I have seen many come and go, some willingly and others not (loss of job), and when they become bitter about it, it's just not fun. I wanted to remember all the great times I had and really, leave on a high note. 

Once I started verbalizing it, more the fall time, I became more and more confident in my decision. Yes, the unlimited sunshine and nice weather year around did give me some doubts, and also don’t feel “American” and need to re-adapt to American way of thinking and life, but overall, the decision still felt right. Then after spending time with my parents in April, I do feel I want to be closer to them and have a 'real' home and be with them while they are still able and healthy. Have had also many Dubai friends have family losses and it is quite tough to deal with when you are so far away (14 hour flight for me!).

How to sum up 6.5 years? I don’t think I can. It already seems like a dream and that lived a totally different life that no one will understand... unless they’ve lived in Dubai and even that, they wouldn’t have experienced MY story. To say it was an experience of a lifetime is an understatement. To say it changed my life and ME is a fact. To say I pretty much spent my 30’s in Dubai and had opportunities I NEVER would have had back in USA is also a fact. I think back to when I first came and really, how naive and ignorant I was. I really had NO idea what I was getting myself into and maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing I didn’t. I know I fluffed over my blog and conversations with people, but I really did struggle and really did have a hard time that first year getting used to everything and adapting. A year!! Everything from getting situated and settled, logistics and admin (bank accounts, drivers license, work stuffs, to finding and getting a car and apartment, etc etc). Is quite amusing how life is really a full circle. When I first came I literally could fit all my belongings and the 2nd hand car I bought. Then I had to buy everything from scratch, from dish ware to a bed to a fridge to garbage baskets... and all that admin stuff I mentioned (apt, car, etc). Then.... selling the car, closing accounts, selling/giving away all that I bought, to again fit into my car while transitioning homes as I was doing when I first came. But, I did it! All by myself. Both times, although admittedly, the closing part I did have a little bit more help (i.e. my friend Paula bought my car, lol). Yes, of course, I had some help here and there, but somehow managed to unravel a complex web of discovering and starting Dubai life to then raveling it up again to leave it. 

The last 6 months were completely mayhem. I very soon almost regretted how I was “complaining” about being so stress free and “bored” with the life here. My lease ended end of February and it was a full on job to literally sell, donate, give away 6 years of accumulated “stuff.” How in the world I ended up with so much “stuff” is anyone’s guess. Well, I do know... Dubai is such a transient place that when people leave they want to do what I was doing, getting rid of stuffs... so for a good 3 years, no joke, I was more than happy to collect and collect. I looooved where I loved, the Murooj Complex, although rent had a good 30% increase through the years (grrrrr), couldn’t have asked for a better apt. Loved that it was close to the work, close to downtown, close to most of my friends, and great maintenance and amenities (gym, pool, restaurants and groceries stores close by). So it was a bit sad for me to pack it all up and go down memory lane, but it had to be done. Very sad! In the meantime, besides high stress of that, I had to find someplace to live until i would leave in June. That is a whole long story in itself, but basically, I managed through a friend of a friend to find an apartment to rent for 3 months, but had a week before and after to find a place to live. I fortunately had these travel friends that were kind of enough to not only have me leave my things there while traveling, but while THEY were traveling, it happened to coincide with when I needed a place to stay. Phew! So needless to say, at one point I was in-between 3 homes and it was NOT easy. I literally had to think twice before or after work where I was going, and making sure I was going to the right home... and sometimes going to 2 or 3 of them. And this is on top of Comrades training and regular work life. 

Speaking of, work wise I didn’t say a peep to anyone, and that was a killer in itself. As we have all the last 6+ years and 6 changes in management (no joke) we had recent some changes that some staff were laid off and although I knew I was “safe,” you never really are safe in Dubai. The physio manager was on maternity leave so I was to take over while she was gone. Selfishly, another reason why I didn’t want to say anything was because I wanted that mini managerial experience. But again, with that was added stress... Putting together the Rota, much of it was for Ramadan thank gawd, but wow, so much behind the scenes stuff that happens and... a lot of work (especially dealing with the staffs 'demands'!). Also we had a major inspection (CPQ) to ensure we get licensed to practice, and that was a lot of work. I was a bit overwhelmed at first but then got better at being confident to be strict when I needed to yet also maintain mutual respect and support. Needless to say, the day after I got back from Serbia and put in my notice, my poor co-workers were shocked! I REALLY had the BEST team EVER and another reason I held out was because it made me too sad to think to say bye to them and also wanted to make it less dramatic. Tears were had and it really broke my heart when I did say bye, can’t even describe how they filled my heart with joy going to work everyday and made it such a pleasurable experience. 

On top of that was a little ‘ol race called Comrades - a 90km (56 mile) downhill run that is an enormous challenge and event in it’s own right. When all these changes were happening, it was peak training so was pulling in these looooong runs and keeping up with my fitness regime the best I could for both stress relief and to be ready for it - swim 1-2x/week, strengthening 1-2x/week, yoga 1x/week, spin class 1-2x/week. Not to mention trying to get enough sleep. Literally showed up for runs, chimed in on our Cookoo Club whatsapp group, and... that was about it. It wasn’t until I got on that flight and all Dubai life said and done that really had a think about what was yet to come.

Then came social life which tried to fit in my friends to say hi and bye, and what it came down to was hosting a Farewell to Me/Comrades send-off gathering at a bar the week before we left for Durban. Got some other catch-ups in, but sadly had to forgo a lot as just got too too busy with all this home stuffs AND preparation for 6-9 months of travel! Did I mention that? Yup, on top of everything else, was doing admin stuff for volunteering I’m doing in November, helping plan South Africa in June with Chicago friends (after Comrades), arranging a big o trip to Russia in July, working with friends on logistics for Borneo in September, coordinating with friends for Europe in August... blah blah blah. As you see, everything all over the place! 

Finally, is there a finally? There came time to monkeying around with closing bank accounts/opening another, selling car (thank gawd it was to my friend Paula, which took some efforts, but she’s a friend and we sorted things out fairly “easily”), and just those annoying little things that pop up no matter how much you plan.

Soooo, Dubai life!! A 'dream' I will never forget and an experience like none other. What stands out the most is the lovely people I met. As I came here on my own, you meet people and they quickly become almost like a 'family' to you. We've celebrated holidays, traveled together, and really, have been some truly amazing and special people. Some I will call lifelong friends, I hope, but I know how life is and with distance some friendships dwindle and fade away. I know I will have visitors in Chicago, buuuuut what makes me the most sad is the people that I know that neither can't afford to come or because of their nationality, are not allowed to. So it was especially saying bye to them as it really was a forever bye. I have too many experiences to recount about how international Dubai is. Okay, so my friends tend to be from the U.K. (but also many other worldly places), my work life was a clear example of how diverse Dubai is, every day I would look at my schedule and see soo many different nationalities. It was also interesting as, and I hate to generalize and sometimes stereotype, but there were many 'patterns' I would see among different nationalities and how they perceive pain, and physiotherapy! Veerrrrrrry interesting! 

I do have to touch upon work life. I 'blocked' a few things from the first 1-2 years of work life, one was a particular BAD manager that really impacted me in a negative way, unfortunately, BUT that was a lesson learned for me on how to handle a situation like that and I definitely grew as a person. I think before coming I was a bit timid and naive and not so willing to stand up for myself and maybe, not so confident? Well, now, maybe it is age too, but I DEFINITELY feel more confident in my clinical practice and how it has grown. That is due to the 1-1 care, which I 100% want to continue with when I get home because I cannot do the multiple patients at the same time anymore as it is not good care. These 1-1 not only had me learn a lot because i had the time to fully evaluate, but also get to know people! My co-workers would often laugh about my talking and laughing, but I just loved interacting with the patients, learning about different cultures and customs, and... really, I think 30-40% of my friend group had come from former patients! Some of my REALLY close friends. I loooved the most how casual Dubai is with that kind of stuff and not as rigid as the USA (insert eye roll), with whom I was comfortable, I shared my phone number (and really, didn't get bothered that much). The docs did it ALL THE TIME! Especially the ones on commission. I think it is an excellent way to connect with someone and, I can't give a single occasion where I felt I was 'abused' for it. Physio is not that life threatening and am soo grateful and thankful that I am in a profession that I CAN help someone, so whether it be a simple advice like "go see a doc" or... "can it wait till Monday?" after a couple little remedies, I know it can tremendously ease a mind of a person. Pain is BIG thing, and having said that, Dubai and my interactions with our Pain Management doc really got me interested a possible pursuit/sub-specialty - Pain science! I REALLY am interested in it and loove learning about it. Also Dubai offered some REALLY top notch practitioners that I had the pleasure of attending courses. Yes, some of them do go to the US, but I think because US is so far away and we are a bit over-saturated with continuing education stuff, many do bypass it. And back to the work life, gosh, really, after that witch left, we had our Dream Team physios and I REALLY REALLY can't say enough how wonderful of an experience it was. I really honestly and truthfully can say that EVERY DAY I WANTED to go to work, I LOOKED FORWARD to it, because of them... and just the environment! When I got my own room, yes, I missed chit chatting with them when we were sitting next to each other, buuuut I pretty much finished my Masters in Healthcare Administration, did a ton of reading and personal things, ha ha, okay, I'm not that lazy, of course I did work, but it also when we had all those changes in management, it really was slow with sometimes nothing to do (except personal stuff). THAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN IN AMERICA! NEVER!!!!! Soooo, am really thankful for that 'downtime' experience and will miss the days seeing a patient and then having coffee with them downstairs at the Caribou or Circle Cafe, he he. (again, wouldn't happen back home). Sigh, just talking about it really makes my heart break at how much I will miss that and that dream job. I won't have that again, but am glad that I at least had that experience and will really cherish it forreevver. 

On that happy note.... 

As they say here, again, with so many people coming and going and... who knows what will happen in life? You never say never and you never say goodbye, especially in a place like Dubai, so it is not a "goodbye Dubai" it is a "see you later."

Dubai, thanks for the awesome memories, and ... "see you later!"



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